Time has come to share with you my outcomes about my december’s experiment : unleashing my creativity regarding my future work through a no-goals approach. Just intentions and themes. Learn to listen to my intuition and to follow the flow.
There will be no specific blogpost dedicated to the coaching theme , since I am now clearly working on creating a coaching activity, so the work and reflection will go on. More will come on that topic when time comes.
And it will for sure, in a way or another, nourish my co-working space project.
A month to redefine accountability and find my own way
Being accountable does not always mean having a bucket list of things to do, and people witnessing that you have done it. If/when you need it, for exemple for a business development, it is of course very useful. But the real power of being "held accountable" by a group of people is the relationship it creates. It is about committing to people you appreciate and value that makes the difference. People who get that you don’t want to hear about goals for a while or that can’t commit to daily meetings with them, while still willing to connect with them. Because what led us to Tribewanted Bali is often the strongest bound we share : our stories, what drives us, our need for share and support. Making that move is actually a huge accountability move by itself. And, more than everything, you have to commit towards yourself, to always remember why you came here, and understand what this place or these people are here to bring or show you. With kindness and patience.
Accountability does not have to be a dogma, it is a frame. It does not have to be an obligation, it is an opportunity. It does not have to be frozen, it is adaptable. It is what you decide it to be. Everybody has its own way.
I feel like i did exactly what i needed to maximize my reflections in december, while still holding myself accountable : I changed my approach, I did a 180° turn, I have shifted from goals and action plans to intuition and mindfulness.
You’ll find here 5 points that i consider as my major outcomes from this month. While the first 3 points can apply to any kind of shifting journey, the last 2 points really focus on the intuition and mindful approach I have experienced.
1/ Be aware of your comfort zones
We all have our own patterns, and it is important to identify them, in order to deal with them.
Comfort zone are morning’s busy commute, the casier at your supermarket, that tv soap you watch every week with a pizza, but it is also that yoga class or workout you love so much, or that good friend you can call anytime... Comfort zone is what you know, what you control, where your safe place to protect yourself from too much struggle.
It can go from healthy habits to toxic behaviors. The problems start when the toxic side of comfort zone becomes a daily routine. This is how you get slowly frozen. And it ends up killing dreams and ambitions. I know about it, i have been there in my past.
When it comes to Bali, mid-november, my temporary comfort zone has been to put myself in the background within tribewanted, not fully believing in my skills and ideas, just doing my goals "homework" without seeing the bigger picture. I actually needed time to find my flow in this new environment. I am very good at setting myself boundaries when i am a bit lost. That situation would have become toxic on the long term, since it was clearly leading me to doubt my inner value. But at some point I realized what was happening. And by acknowledging it, I took my power back.
Comfort zone is ok if created with awareness and for a short period of time. It is ok, it is sane. You are not a machine.
When you notice that you are in a counter-productive comfort zone, you just need to check inside of you, and ask yourself "am i ok with that? what is going on? For how long has this been going on already?". And usually, quickly after you acknowledged it, it tends to vanish. The magic of awareness!
2/ Self acceptance and self knowledge increase resilience
A whole year off-work has been a wonderful opportunity to work on myself, learn to know and accept all aspects of my personality. The learning continues, and life tests me on a regular basis with challenges or struggles, to check if lessons are integrated. This december’s experiment has been a great tool to use and apply everything i have learned.
Self knowledge and self acceptance helps you in adjusting, healing, learning, being kinder to yourself. It develops your resilience and as helps you go out of the toxic patterns.
Without self awareness, without knowing and accepting my whole nature, i might not have been able to shift my mindset and come back to something that is good for me, I would not have decided to start this experiment. Or even come to Bali. Or even quit my job in the first place.
Resilience is the ultimate tool to deal with the comfort zone issue. Once you have started being aware of your comfort zones, you then learn to identify what are your toxic patterns. Self knowledge leads to understand when and why they occur.
Knowing and accepting yourself allows you to distinguish what is a healthy behavior, and has to be kept or even developed, from what is toxic and to get rid off. It is the most powerful tool to understand what is going on, what fear or saboteur is targeted, and not let them holding too much space, or even say goodby to them.
Then you start the shifting (reprogramming?) journey.
3/ You are free! And it implies full responsibility for yourself, your mindset, your positioning
Back when i was still working, i have had the chance to be coached by a fascinating woman, Emmanuelle Piquet (her Ted Talk is available with english subtitles) who made me discover the power of the Palo Alto approach : when you want to change a situation or a relationship, you have to change your positioning towards it. Understand that you have your own perception of reality, and that it can be changed through a 180 degree move in your attitude and mindset. When doing that, usually the problem or conflict dissolves itself immediatly. It can be really hard, and requires a lot of courage when you have been stuck in a pattern for a long time. But it is worth it. Emmanuelle applies the same approach when she coaches bullied kids at school (the topic of her Ted Talk) or corporate employees/executives. She considers that personal and professional life is a giant school playground, and i agree with her.
I have used this technic for my positioning towards goals settings. By letting go on the commitment to daily goals and to daily meetings, I shifted completely and liberated my mind very quickly, and efficiently. I reconnected to my enthusiasm and unleashed my creativity.
The results have been almost immediate. It can sound obvious, but depending on your story, your education, your background, allowing yourself to be free, shifting your view on your reality, on your limiting beliefs, is a real challenge.
But to do that kind of process you have to be aware of your patterns in the first place : it implies to know and accept yourself, as said in the previous point.
One thing not to neglect : Allowing yourself to be free comes with responsibilities : you can’t victimize yourself anymore, you are the only person responsible for your positioning towards what you live, and what makes you suffer. Every situation can be seen from another angle. It is not avoiding, it is accepting that your reality is not the one from your neighbor’s, it is your own creation.
And yes, it is an every day challenge.
4/ Unleash your creativity through trust, intuition, and flow
Goals, and more widely control, are generally the worst enemy of creativity. It tries to rationalize what can’t be rationalized.
So, when it comes to be creative, you better forget about plans, lists, feedbacks,… this is definitely not what you need here. Creativity is not about the how, it is about exploring what are your what and first of all your why! It comes from your heart, your guts, not from your brain.
You have to start a mindful intuitive exploration.
In this, there are no goals, no rules, no week and weekend. Just a theme and a flexible time frame, and you go to your own pace. You create your own space, open yourself to opportunities, people, signs,… And gently refuse what you feel like does not serve your purpose at that moment. It is not always easy to distinguish, it implies to connect to your intuition. When you create space for intuition, you quickly see it growing. You welcome more and more what is coming on your path, and allow it to change your day, your week, or more if it feels right.
My first weekly theme was energy. The theme was wide and intangible enough to make me dive into the intuitive approach. You can’t really have a bucket list when it comes to energy... I completely followed the flow, and something really unleashed in me. It made me reconnect to that self trust. I was launched to face the next themes : tribes, co-working, and coaching.
Of course, I have had moments of undefined wandering, when I had no real idea about where i was heading. It was challenging and interesting to acknowledge this wobbling. At the beginning of each theme, I couldn’t help but draft a little list of ideas about things to do. But when I finally catched the flow, I ended up forgetting about that list. This is how i have measured how much I shifted : how I managed every time to end up with a broad overlook, reflections and outcomes, without having the slightest plan. You just have to believe that at some point, it will all make sense. That life will provides and that you will deal with it.
I know I know, this can sound really « ultra spiritual » or cliché, but to be honest, it really worked : I always ended up with a breakthrough, a broader view, new ideas, inspiration, motivation. This month taught me a lot about the power of letting go, setting intentions and trusting my flow.
However, life is about balance, and you cannot only rely on that kind of approach. I encourage you to have a look on the Eisenhower matrix. What i have done for a month is the "important / non urgent". In order to move forward in your life, be innovative, creative, you have to create space for important non urgent things in you everyday life. In theory, 25% of your time has to be dedicated to this.
To make space for it , 2 clues :
- identify the "non important" tasks and either delegate them or cancel them, depending on how important they are.
- prioritize the important part. Do the "important and urgent" things first thing in the day, and save time for the "important non urgent" on a daily basis, or in a dedicated and very precious weekly time. This is where magic happens. You can also plan dedicated weekends, retreats or holidays. But keep it in your weekly routine. We tend to sacrify this time by letting ourselves being led by emergency. This is a big trap! Some people are very good at creating emergencies that would not have existed in the first place, or loose themselves in the "non important non urgent" tasks, and procrastinate with what is really important. This is a form of avoidance.
To learn further in a fun and stimulating way, i invite you once more to visit the Wait But Why blog, and read this post.
5/ Recenter on a regular basis, remember the bigger picture - why are you here, who are you?
It is all about balance : too much group stimulation, skill share, talks, workshops can be overwhelming and can make you loose sight on your goal. This is why self awareness and intuition are major : it tells you when there is too much or not enough of something, and make you move in a more balanced direction. You have to listen to the signs, to what your body tells you.
Remember why you started this journey on the first place. Your why will help you focus on your what. And then it will lead you on the way to the how.
It is really different to join a group like tribewanted when you already have a business running and some clear work tasks to achieve, than when you join it to explore your options. In the latest scenario, it can be easy to loose sight about why you came here in the first place. Make sure you remember it to yourself on a regular basis!
I am happy I decided to stay in the tribe. People could witness my progress, it has and will create discussions, story telling, stimulation. It also allowed me to get to know better Tomas, a brilliant entrepreneur that came one day to share with us is experience, and tell us about habits stacking.
It allowed me to make a feedback to the tribe, but too early, and to give birth to this blogpost. Laura, our tribe leader, asked me questions that gave me the idea of the "5 things..." blogpost shape. Clearly, number 4 is way bigger than the others. But simply because it is the major outcome!
for further reading about not setting goals, you can read this medium post from Yann Girard
See you soon!